


Purpose

by NatIannera



Series: March Writing Madness - 2019 [12]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-17 17:05:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18102758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatIannera/pseuds/NatIannera
Summary: Hoi zäme!Guess who accidentally pressed 'Preview' instead 'Post without Preview'?Yeah, this idiot. So, this is technically a day late. But seeing as I wrote it yesterday, I don't count this as failure yet.Anyways, here's for Ansem SOD. It's one of my stranger pieces, to be honest. However, I still like it in a strange way.I hope you'll enjoy!





	Purpose

**Author's Note:**

> Hoi zäme!  
> Guess who accidentally pressed 'Preview' instead 'Post without Preview'?  
> Yeah, this idiot. So, this is technically a day late. But seeing as I wrote it yesterday, I don't count this as failure yet.  
> Anyways, here's for Ansem SOD. It's one of my stranger pieces, to be honest. However, I still like it in a strange way.  
> I hope you'll enjoy!

It is astounding how fast similar experiences can form a friendship.

Or any type of relationship to be honest, since you’re not sure whether you and Xehanort really have a friendship.

Both of you awoke in Radiant Garden without memories of your past. Both of you have been taken in by Ansem the Wise, and both of you are his newest apprentices now. You’re rather quiet, and keep to yourselves. The only grand difference is that Xehanort excels in science, whereas you just don’t seem to get the hang of it.

After a few failures, and one almost-accident, you decided to settle on a different role. You were an apprentice to Ansem the Wise now in a different way, in a more bureaucratic way. Ansem the Wise was a very organized man, but keeping the system he has up running takes up many of his hours. So, you study it and familiarize yourself with it, eventually taking over in place of Ansem the Wise. You also take up more of a caretaker role in the castle, even though it is quite challenging for you. For whatever reason, you had a hard time sympathizing with others, or couldn’t understand when certain emotion made it difficult for them to proceed with an experiment. It seems that your amnesia had messed up your moral compass, or you were already insensitive to such things from the beginning. But what you could do, and what you insistently would do, was taking care of their physical needs. You reminded everyone to take a break, always had different types of snacks with you, prepared meals for them and let fresh air in. You never denied Ienzo when he came to you asking for sweets, and you never denied Braig when he came into your ‘office’ to take a nap. Dilan and Aeleus knew you would always have several types of energizers around, while Even knew you always had a kettle of coffee and tea ready. You never let Ansem the Wise down, and you always had a friendly smile and comfortable silence ready for Xehanort.

When you weren’t organizing any files or preparing some type of food, you were with Ansem the Wise, Even, Ienzo and Xehanort in the laboratory, assisting them as much as you could. You would fetch notes, papers, pens, books, sometimes even samples they were working on. Most of your time, you were helping Xehanort, since he was the one who tended to leave things scattered around. You didn’t speak all that much with each other, but there was always this sense of understanding between the both of you. You both were in the same situation, both far away from home and without memories. That fact alone seemed to be enough for a sense of collegiality between the both of you, which is more than you have with the others. Even seemed to think himself better than you, Ienzo saw you as another adult in his life, Dilan and Aeleus both saw you as another subject to protect, and Ansem the Wise saw you as an apprentice. For all of them, you were either above or below them, but to Xehanort, you were apparently an equal. It made you think for quite a while, until you ultimately decided that it really just were the similar experiences the both of you shared.

Everything went on like that for several months, and the world was peaceful. You adjusted to the world around you, although your struggle with emotions persisted.

Then, the experiments on Xehanort began.

Ansem the Wise started them in order to learn more about the heart, and to help Xehanort regain his memories. He was very clear about intending to restore your memories as well, which left you quite mixed. The reports and notes you had seen didn’t look all that good, especially Xehanort’s. He was required to write down a detailed report about what he felt and what he remembered, but they were hardly longer than a page. Xehanort didn’t feel any different, or remember anything new, not for a long while.

And when he started to regain his memories, everything went downhill.

The other six apprentices began to conduct secret research, and you covered them up. You kept their notes in a different place, under a completely different name. It didn’t even make you feel guilty, which is something that should concern you, but it simply didn’t.

Ansem the Wise learns of this secret research, of course, and punishes everyone including you. He organizes all the notes by himself again, forbidding you from even touching them. You are also banned from of the laboratory as well.

Now without a task, without a purpose, you grow restless. You are still allowed to bring them meals or snacks, but you have to leave them by the door. And there is only so much food you can prepare until you’ve either over-prepared or before you run out of ingredients. But sitting in your room, staring against the wall, is a terrible punishment for you.

Luckily for you, Ansem punishing everyone only accelerated Xehanort’s plans. He unlocks the hearts of his fellow apprentices with a Keyblade, a fascinating weapon.

But as he moves on to you, trying to unlock yours as well, nothing happens. Although Xehanort should be at the perfect angle and height, your heart does not come floating out. It’s almost as if you didn’t possess a heart at all.

As if you’re a Nobody.

The revelation comes to you as a shock, or what you think is a shock. Ansem the Wise only mentioned Nobodies briefly, but you knew that they were created when a strong person gave in to the Darkness. The thought of there being an original you was confusing, since you didn’t possess any memories of an earlier life.

Xehanort, who decided to call himself ‘Ansem, Seeker of Darkness’ from now on, makes you an offer. He tells you of grand plans, but also of the need of another person for keeping a system. He needs someone working in the background, making sure the countless Heartless at his disposal spread through the different worlds. Essentially, it would be like organizing notes.

Having had nowhere else to go, you accept Xeha- Ansem’s offer, and the both of you find a basis in the Realm of Darkness.

You immediately get to work and start organizing Ansem’s truly massive army of heartless. You decide which types of Heartless go where, and how many of them go. Ansem gave you clear instructions, and while he does check on you very often, he does trust you enough to do it correctly.

This trust is something you know you to value, and something you don’t intend to break. Why should you? Ansem is not bad to you. Even though he is now far more powerful than you are, he does not believe himself better than you. The both of you are still equals. You both are just creatures from the darkness, him a sentient heartless, you a nobody.

And most of the time, things are… well. Almost as if the two of you were a couple, leading a domestic life.

Ansem is out most of the time, working on his grand plan and trying to get rid of his enemies, while you were mostly inside, organizing and managing literal armies of Heartless. You also dealt with Maleficent and Pete sometimes, although not as often as one would think.

When he’s back, the both of you have short conversations while you patch him up, eat together, share a bed to rest if time allows it. Sometimes, he spends a prolonged time at your side and performs small-scale experiments and research in the small laboratory he has. As you did years ago, you assist him while he’s doing so, handing him anything he might need. You rarely touch, and there’s no warmth between the both of you. But there’s a giving and a taking element from both of you. You give Ansem your talents, your skills, while he gives you a purpose, something to focus your mind on.

Sometimes, you wonder if you’re doing the right thing.

If you are on the ‘correct side of history’, as one would say.

But when faced with the prospect of wandering endlessly in the Realm of Darkness with no exit or no goal, you decide not to care too much.

**Author's Note:**

> And that's that.  
> Now, excuse me, I need to finish Aqua's piece for tomorrow.  
> Hopefully I will this time actually post it instead of keeping it in my drafts.
> 
> Tschüss!


End file.
